if your name is Rosemary, read this

i went to traffic school yesterday up in LA (for the ticket i got in june) and there was this girl i had met there that i can’t get out of my mind. it all started when i arrived at the school a bit later than i wanted, so i was left with just the back seats to pick from (which didn’t have tables). i picked a corner seat since it had a chair to the left and front of me so i put my paperwork and water bottle on it to use as my makeshift “table”. more people started coming in and from the corner of my eye, i saw someone standing at the back door, and i could sorta tell she was scanning the room for an open seat (i didn’t bother to look up — i was in a grumpy mood because i had to get up so early) so i moved my papers and water off the chair, and shortly after that, she walks up and asks if the seat is taken. so i look up at her — omg, gorgeous. as in jaw dropping. the guys who walked in did a double take when they saw her. so with her sitting to the front/side of me it was pretty easy to admire the view, but i had to be careful to not stare and gawk and come off creepy. god i would hate that. so class starts, yadda yadda, watch a boring video, and it’s break time. i went back to my truck to grab a pen for class, and i come back and see her standing outside by herself. so i start walking towards her, contemplating if i should say something or not, and what to talk about if i do. i figured “what the hell”, i have nothing to lose, so the first thing i said was how uncomfortable those chairs were (you try sitting on a standard folding metal chair for 2 hours and you’ll know what i’m talking about). she laughed and agreed, and the conversation went on to something about movie theatre seats, and then it morphed into me trying to sell her on my just-thought-of-idea of a traffic school featuring Lazy-Boy seats. we decided it wouldn’t be a good idea because everyone would just fall asleep, which was the perfect segue into me asking her if she knew where the closest Starbucks was (she said she lived nearby). she said there was one just a few blocks away, and i did something very uncharacteristic of me — i said “well maybe for our lunchbreak you can show me where it’s at and we can have some coffee”. but here’s the kicker — she said “sure!” we then went back into the classroom a little early so we could switch our chairs with some of the padded ones up front. we talked some more during the other short breaks we got. so anyways, this story is getting pretty long and it’s getting late and i don’t really have to talk about every single detail, so i’ll skip to where the story goes wrong. the class is almost over, we just finished taking our tests, and i’m already thinking of asking this girl out to a movie or something after we get out of class. sadly, my plan went all went down the drain when we were all excused from class one.. at.. a.. time so that we could pay the class fee and have our certificates signed. she was called ahead of me and by the time i was called and got out of class, she was nowhere to be found. *sigh* i certainly didn’t expect her to wait for what seemed like an eternity for me to get out of class. so that brings me to this desperate 1-in-a-billion-chance-this-will-work plea: if your name is rosemary, with short blonde/brown hair, hazel eyes, a kanji tattoo on your right ankle, and you went to traffic school on 9/6/03 — if you remember this dork who sat next to you wearing shorts and a Roots “atari joystick” shirt, that’s me. hi there. there was something i didn’t get to ask you after class. would you be interested in going out for some coffee or a movie or something?

(this is the part where my friends laugh and point at me)